Going through a divorce is never easy, and the thought of representing yourself in mediation may feel overwhelming at first. Understanding what to expect at your first mediation session can help ease some of the anxiety and prepare you for a productive session. Here’s a summary of what you can expect at your first mediation session with the Connecticut Divorce Mediation Team.
Introduction to Mediator and the Divorce Process
When you arrive at the mediation session, you’ll be greeted by the mediator. The mediator will explain his or her role as a neutral facilitator to assist with communication and the amicable resolution of your divorce dispute. The mediator will typically begin the first session with a brief review of Connecticut divorce law and the divorce process. He or she will explain that Connecticut is an “equitable distribution” state and what that means for practical purposes. The mediator will discuss the various statutory factors courts must consider when determining equitable distribution and may ask you and your spouse questions to learn facts relevant to those factors. The mediator will then go over the divorce process, explaining that each case begins with discovery and the preparation of financial affidavits for each party. The negotiation of a settlement cannot begin until all assets and debts are disclosed, and each party is satisfied with the other’s discovery. It is noteworthy that frequently the discovery process in mediation is less cumbersome as compared to the litigation methodology. In all events, discussing settlement options is often counter-productive until all the facts are gathered and on the table. Thus, negotiation is not done at the initial session.
Guidelines for the Mediation Process
The mediator will then discuss in detail how the mediation process will work. The mediator will review the terms of the Mediation Agreement with the parties. The parties will be reminded that they agreed to be honest and make full disclosure of all their finances. The mediator will review expectations of conduct. Namely, that parties must be respectful to one another during sessions. Yelling, name-calling, or speaking over one another is not permitted. The mediator will also advise the parties regarding retaining additional professionals for assistance during the mediation process. These additional professionals may include review counsel, appraisers, certified divorce financial analysts (CDFAs), and/or co-parenting counselors.
The mediator will go over the structure of the mediation process. Before each mediation session, the parties are provided an Agenda that lists the topics to be discussed at the next meeting. The parties will know what to expect before each meeting so they can adequately prepare. After each mediation session, the parties are provided a Summary of their meeting. The Summary briefly reviews what was discussed and agreed to during the mediation session. It may also remind the parties of any assigned “homework” prior to their next meeting. The mediator and the parties will then discuss where and when they will continue to meet, and for how long. Mediation sessions can be held in-person at either our Hartford or New Canaan offices, or they can be held virtually via Zoom. Mediation sessions typically last two to three hours and can be scheduled on days and times that are more convenient for the parties.
Topics to Consider
The parties will be provided with a list of “Things to Consider.” The list includes various topics and issues that are addressed in the marital settlement agreement. For example, if the parties share children, they must consider what they would like their parenting plan to look like. Will the parties share joint legal and physical custody? Which parent will have primary residence to determine the children’s school district? How will the parents share holidays and vacations with the children? For every divorce matter, there are some essential issues that must be considered. For example, will one party receive spousal support? How will bank accounts, investments, and retirement assets be divided between the parties? Will the marital home be sold or will one party keep the home and buy out the interest of the other? The list is intended to make parties aware of the many important decisions they have ahead of them and to encourage them to begin thinking about them.
Request for Discovery
The mediator will then provide the parties with a Discovery Document checklist. The mediator will review the document list with the parties and tailor it to their unique financial circumstances. Each party will be asked to submit the requested documents prior to the next mediation session. The mediator will also request the parties work with their assigned paralegal or CDFA to complete a Financial Worksheet that will be used to prepare their financial affidavit.
Conclusion of Session
If time permits, the mediator will ask each party to share their overall goals, interests, and concerns regarding divorce and the mediation process. These goals and interests should be general in scope and not definitive positions related to settlement terms. For example, “I would like to be sure that we are both treated fairly; that the children have an ongoing relationship with each spouse.” The mediation session then ends with the scheduling of the next meeting.
Working With Our Experienced Connecticut Divorce Mediation Team
Your first mediation session is an important step towards resolving your divorce dispute and moving forward with your life. If you are ready to take this step, contact us today for a consultation. We have offices located in Greenwich, New Canaan, Hartford, New Haven, and Groton. To schedule a consultation contact us at: (203) 610-9516 or visit us at www.connecticutdivorcemediation.com.